hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize