party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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