I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
