***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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