I'm jealous of your bromance
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
