Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So gin and wine won't be happening again
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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