in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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