those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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