What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
