Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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