Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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