I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
