"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
