I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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