hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
