I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
