Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
