do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
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That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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