I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize