Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize