don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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