His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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