apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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