he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
