New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize