What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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