Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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