Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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