My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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