Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
