I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
