Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
