"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
