Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
