I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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