last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
