You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize