someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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