Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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