some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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