I just made out with a guy for $7.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
