Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
