So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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