Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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