More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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