Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
