Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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