I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I believe in your delicious
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