did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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