Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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