drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
