somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
