She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
