i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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