its not stalking. its research.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
