I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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