Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
