Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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