you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Still dying that you shit outside
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
