Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize