just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
