i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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