I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
